Cinderellaremix
by AnimeKittyCat126
Summary: It's just a funny little remix about Cinderella, my version!


Cinderella-remixed…

Once upon a time, in a far far faraway land, named Faraway Land, there lived a rich, widowed, ugly gentleman and his beautiful, self-centered daughter, Cinderella.  
Cinderella's father was kind and loving (Yeah right!). He married for a second time (Actually for the eighth time, because all the other died because of his hideousness!) so that his daughter could have a mother to care for her, but actually he wanted to get her of his hands. Cinderella's stepmother had two mean and ugly daughters called Anastasia and Drizella. Anastasia was born in Russia and Drizella was born in Rome and they had two different fathers!  
When Cinderella's father kicked his toes up, she threw a party and her stepmother stopped pretending to like her. She was jealous of Cinderella's charm and beauty so she forced the young girl to become a servant in her own home.  
"Oh no!" Cinderella cried, "Now I'm gonna have the old bakkie and you'll get the 4x4! And I'll have the old black and white TV and you'll get the plasma!"  
Cinderella was given a tiny bedroom in the attic, with the black and white TV. Her only friends were mice and birds, but the decided when she stopped feeding them, they'd eat her! The listened as she sang about her dreams of a life filled with love and happiness, but they wished she'd get a life of her own too!  
One morning, Cinderella found a tubby, chubby little mouse caught in a trap.  
"We'll call you Gus, you fat mouse!" she said. Then she gently set him free and put him with the other mice for safety. "Don't forget to warn him about Lucifer, or that moron will eat him and I don't want to clean up his guts!" Cinderella reminded them. And off she skipped to begin the day's chores, "La di da!"  
Lucifer was her stepmother's cat. He was sly, lazy and fat and all the animals hated him, especially Bruno the dog and Michael the hovercraft.  
After Cinderella had given Lucifer his milk (So he could get even fatter!), she walked into the yard. "Breakfast time!" she called, scattering corn for the chickens, then picking the chickens up and feeding them to the horse.  
The mice came running for some breakfast too. "We aren't fat enough!" the cried. But Lucifer was blocking the way to the corn! One of the mice, Jaq Le Que, crept bravely up to Lucifer and kicked him. There was a loud-_**SPLASH!**_ The cat had fallen into his milk bowl.  
This made Lucifer very angry! "I'll eat you all, da!" it cackled. When he saw Gus busily gathering up some corn, he pounced on him…  
Luckily Gus managed to escape to the kitchen, still thought he was to slim! He scampered up onto the table top where he rested against a teacup. Suddenly, the cup flipped over, trapping Gus underneath! "Oh no, I'm scared of the dark! The Boogeyman will get me!" he wailed.

Just then, a voice shrieked from upstairs. "Cinderella! Get your chubby behind up here!"  
"I'm coming. So put a sock in it!" Cinderella sighed. She picked up the breakfast trays and made her way upstairs. Underneath the teacup, Gus was safe at last, or was he? *dramatic music*

Not far away, in the royal palace, the King ala Doofus and the Grand Duke ala Moron were talking about the Prince ala Geek.  
"It's time he married" grumbled the King ala Doofus. Suddenly, he had an idea. "We'll have a ball-tonight!" he cried. "And invite every young maiden the kingdom, but no farther, or they'll start packing some pounds! The Prince ala Geek will surely fall in love with _one_ of them!"

So, invitations were sent out that very day!

When the royal messenger delivered the invitations to Cinderella's house, Cinderella went to find her stepmother (Oh joy!). She was upstairs in the music room listening to Anastasia and Drizella singing.  
"It sounds like they're torturing a poor animal!" Lucifer cried, running away and committing suicide.  
"There is going to be a ball at the palace!" exclaimed the stepmother as she read the invitation. "Every maiden is to attend! But no farther than the kingdom boundaries or the girls will start packing pounds! Here it stands in big red letters!"  
"Why, that means I can go too!" said Cinderella, hopefully.  
Anastasia and Drizella shrieked with laughter at the idea of chubby Cinderella going to b ball, but she was determined. "Well, why not?" she asked.  
Her stepmother thought for a moment, then a sly smile crossed her face, making her look older than she is (Which is older than she really is! And that's old to start with! ) "I see no reason why you can't go, _if_ you get all your work done and you'll lose some pounds."  
"I'm sure I can!" cried Cinderella, rushing to the kitchen and getting a '_Slim in 10 minutes_' pack then rushing upstairs to find something to wear. She opened her wardrobe and took out one of her mother old gowns. "It's a little old-fashioned, but I'll fix that. And I'll have to repaint it, because I'm _HATE_ pink" she said.

"Cinderella!" shrieked her stepmother.  
"I'm coming" Cinderella sighed.

The mice knew that poor Cinderella would never have time to finish and repaint the dress. So they decided to work on it themselves.  
They sang merrily as the cut and sewed the material. At last, the pretty dress was finished, but they couldn't find any paint, so it stayed the horrible pink. It was trimmed with an old sash and beads which Anastasia and Drizella had thrown away.  
Later that evening, Cinderella sadly returned to her attic room. She had been so busy that she hadn't time to get ready. Out of the window, she watched a 4x4 carriage arrive to take her stepmother and stepsisters to the ball.  
As Cinderella turned away she suddenly saw the dress. "Surprise!" her ex-friends cried.  
"Oh it's wonderful! I'll look like a poppy now, but I don't care!" Cinderella exclaimed, hardly able to believe her eyes. In no time she had slipped the dress on (Thanks to her slim packet) and was rushing downstairs to the 4x4 carriage.  
But when Anastasia and Drizella saw their stepsister looking so beautiful and more poppy than them, they were filled of jealously.  
"Why you little thief!" Drizella screamed, spotting her old beads round Cinderella's neck. Then, Anastasia looked at the sash. "That's mine!" she cried, grabbing the sash and ripping Cinderella's poppy dress.  
"Please stop!" cried Cinderella. But it was too late, her poppy dress was ruined. She ran into the garden and flung herself down on a bench (So dramatic! ). She sobbed as if her heart had broken. "I can feel my heart braking!" she wailed, poking her chest and you could hear the broken glass.  
Cinderella was so upset that at first she didn't see a magical swirl of Light gather around her (As if Kira has time from his busy serial killing schedule to help a girl!). When she looked up and old lady was sitting on the bench.  
"I'm your fairy godmother" the old lady said kindly. "Guess what, my child!"  
"What?" Cinderella asked.  
"I'm a cross-dresser!" the old lady laughed and Cinderella gasped. "Now, dry your tears! You can't go to the ball looking like that! Now, fetch me a pumpkin, hopefully a chubby one and hurry, even miracles take time! Please, this dress is giving me an uncomfortable wedgie!"  
Minutes later, the fairy godmother/godfather waved her/his magic wand over the pumpkin. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo-I've got a nice supper for you!" she/he sang. The pumpkin changed into a sparkling 4x4 limo hammer carriage!  
"Now," said the fairy godmother/godfather, "with an elegant 4x4 carriage like that you simply have to have-mice!"  
With that she waved her wand over Gus, Jaq Le Que and their friends and changed them into proud, white horses with horns. "Gay unicorns!" she/he said. Another wave of her wand and Cinderella's carnivore horse was changed into a coachman, Bruno the dog was changed into the footman and Michael the hovercraft into a windowasher!  
Then with a final wave of the wand, Cinderella was dressed in a magnificent ballgown and delicate glass slippers.  
"Oh thank you, cross-dresser fairy!" cried Cinderella, stepping into the 4x4 carriage. "It's like a dream come true! And I don't look like a poppy!"  
"I know dear, but remember you only have until midnight" the fairy godmother/godfather warned. "On the last stroke of twelve the spell will be broken and I'll be an ordinary cross-dresser and not a magical one!"  
At the palace, Cinderella entered the glittering ballroom excitedly. Glancing up, the Prince ala Geek saw her and thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen (He never got out much!). He took Cinderella's hand and led her to the dance floor. The Prince ala Geek knew that he had finally fallen in love (As if that ever happens in the real world!).  
Dancing in the Prince's arms, Cinderella felt as though she was floating on air (*hurling*)…then the bubble popped!  
Suddenly, she heard a clock chime. It was the first stroke of midnight…

"I must go!" she gasped as she fled the through the ballroom, her dress blowing dramatically behind her (Children shield your eyes!) and down the palace steps.  
"Wait! You can't go now!" cried the Prince ala Geek. But Cinderella didn't stop-even when she lost one of her glass slippers on the steps. She leapt into the 4x4 carriage which raced away.  
As the last stroke of midnight was heard, the 4x4 carriage turned back into a chubby pumpkin and Cinderella found herself dressed in rags once more. But she was still wearing a single, glass slipper! (Can't this chick take a hint?)  
Back at the palace, the Prince ala Geek was heartbroken (Get over it! There are plenty of fish in the sea!). He declared that he would only marry the girl whose foot fitted the glass slipped he had found.  
The next day, the Grand Duke ala Moron began his search. Every maiden in the land, not the ones packing some pounds, would have to try on the glass slipper until he found the Prince ala Geek's "_true love_".  
Meanwhile, Cinderella's stepmother had become even more hideous and suspicious when she heard her slim stepdaughter humming the music from the ball. She was determined that Cinderella would not try on the slipper. It was going to take too long for her to get chubby again, so when Cinderella went up to her room, she followed her and locked the door! (Poor kid! Get a new live!)  
At last, the Grand Duke ala Moron arrived. Anastasia and Drizella were very excited (Get a _L-I-F-E_!). Taking their turn, they tried to s-q-u-e-e-z-e their feet into the tiny, glass slipped. But their feet were much too big!  
"I said no chubby!" the Grand Duke ala Moron cried.  
Jaq Le Que and Gus were desperate to help Cinderelli! They took the attic key from the stepmother's pocket and slowly pushed it up the stairs to Cinderella's room. Come one boys push! You need to lose wait!  
Hot, tired and slightly slimmer, they finally managed to open the door and free their friend, hoping she hasn't gone back to eating chocolate and was packing some pounds.  
Just as the Grand Duke ala Moron was about to leave, Cinderella appeared.  
"Please wait!" she called. "May I try on the slipped? I don't pack any pounds!"  
The Grand Duke ala Moron led Cinderella to a chair after he knew she wasn't chubby and called the footman. As the footman ran forward, run man you need to lose some pounds! The picked stepmother tripped him. The slipper flew through the air.  
There was a loud crash as it hit the floor and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, making a piece stick in Drizella's eye.  
"Oh no!" gasped the Duke. "Now the King ala Doofus will chop off my head and pin it on a spear on the palace wall!"  
"Perhaps this would help…" said Cinderella, reaching into her pocket and bringing out the other glass slipper, that wasn't shattered. Her stepsisters shrieked as the delighted Duke ala Moron fitted the stupid slipped onto Cinderella's _small chubby_ foot.  
Soon afterwards, Cinderella and the Prince ala Geek were married. Her friends, the mice, looked on and smiled. They knew Cinderella's dreams had finally come true! And now they could get rid of her as well!

_6 months later Cinderella was locked away for the murder of her husband: the Prince ala Geek…_


End file.
